In the Begining…

The Zor was like any other toddler at the age of one. Though she had trouble sleeping, my then girlfriend, now wife and I spent our evenings driving the Zor around in the car at 11pm to get her to go to sleep.  This was the only way to get her to go to bed.  We would discuss how she just seemed to not want to miss anything.

Skipping ahead six months at a year and a half in age the Zor started to have major temper tantrums that would last for hours there was no end if there was not some interaction.  This was an issue between my wife and I.  I would get frustrated when she would give in and give the Zor what she wanted, which did stop or decrease the tantrum.  I was raised in a strict discipline home and as such am pretty rigid myself, I have the patience and toleration to wait out a tantrum. The Zor has proven time and again that she is a nuclear powered energizer bunny when it comes to tantrums, I have never waited one out… Unbelievable a couple hours in she could dial up the tantrum, it was obvious that this was not normal behavior.   She has had tantrums that broke welds on steel frame beds… I understand how someone could believe their child was possessed.  A normal child will usually wear themselves out  after 20min. or so and nod off, not the Zor.

In addition to her tantrums she also started to display repetitive behaviors that she does to this day, especially when stressed.  She rubs her thumbnail on her upper lip. While this may seem insignificant it is a tick of a sort.  She does not move her hand bank and forth rather she moves her head as if nodding “no”.

The Zor’s daycare issues also escalated in addition to her tantrums which were usually triggered by “nap time”.  She began to be mean to other kids for not liking her, she would hit, kick, or bite other kids.  The daycare provider managed to dislocate the Zor’s left elbow during one of her nap time tantrums trying to subdue her…  Shortly after this incident the Zor was moved to another daycare facility.  Having gone the route of home daycare facility with poor result we thought lets try an institutional style daycare.  Maybe more teachers and kids would help her… Boy were we wrong!  We expressed our concerns, the Zor’s poor behaviors and the daycare facility assured us that they would aid us in trying to curb some of these issues.  Many significant things were learned from this experience.

First and foremost the Zor can and will manipulate adults! As her current principal told us  “…she could move mountains if she willed it”.  Although the Zor lacks the ability to recognize social ques, body language, and voice inflection.  She does possess the ability to recognize “genuiness” in people.  If you are fake, your are weak willed and she will own you! Do not underestimate the powers of the darkside.   Many a daycare provider has fallen victim to the Zor.  The Zor is a beautiful girl and that is trick number one.  Trick number two is because of them “liking” her for her beauty she allows them to get close and they intern allow leniency, once this happens your are toast.  There is no Recovery! Step number three have a tantrum and see how it plays out… If they give in quick they are doubly doomed.  This is how it went with teacher number one at daycare two.  Shortly after this the teacher realizes she is helpless and requests the Zor be moved to another class, just so she can get some relief.  This is what I refer to as people washing their hands of my daughter, this pisses me off!  Not just because they no longer have the energy to deal with my daughter, but that I warned them it would happen! This process happened with each subsequent teacher, 8 in total at this daycare; to the point the Zor was spending daycare with the facility principal.

Observation number two… The Zor does not nap, EVER! To this day I don’t believe she has taken a nap. We drove from California to North Carolina and she did not nod off in the vehicle once.  Getting her to go to bed in a hotel room was just as bad.  The Zor’s sleeping issues will be discussed at length later.  Tantrums escalated at the daycare during nap times as all the teachers had given into the will of the Zor.  The Zor was successful in keeping all the other children up as well.  My wife and I by this time had had many parent teacher conferences with everyone at the daycare.  We were asked by the Principal if one of us could come and get the Zor at nap times. I modified my work and lunch schedule as my wife could not and for the next few months I got the Zor from daycare and we spent her nap time at home playing.  This actually reduced her tantrums for a period of time.

Observation number three… The Zor does not play or interact with kids in an age appropriate manner and she is starting to speak with a vocabulary and sentence structure greater than her age, in addition she memorizes songs and phone number after only hearing them one time.  She is concerned that she is disliked and does not have any friends but she does not know how to be friendly.  Zor “why did you hit, bite, push, hit with object, so and so?” to which Zor replies “I don’t know, my brain tells me to do things, I cannot control it all day… My brain exhausts me” She is almost 3 years old.

After 6 months we get the call from the Principal requesting that we find another daycare provider.  I spoke with the principal and frankly stated that for all the promises and with all information we provided and my sacrificing my lunch breaks and weeks ends to volunteer to repair the facility grounds, that I am extremely disappointed.  The Zor burned through 8 former teachers turned daycare providers in six months.  Not one of the mentioned that she may have a developmental disorder.

We searched and asked around and we found a home daycare that specialized in “difficult” children.  My daughter still requests to stop by and visit when ever we pass the street that she lives down.  She remembers the street and house to this day.  Ruth was a god send.  She was genuine, she listened and heeded my advise, the Zor could not manipulate her, did not have to take naps, and had fewer interactions to handle.  Sarah remained at this day care until we had to move. Unfortunately to another facility type as we had no options.  That lasted a few months, with the same result as the former daycare facility.  With one exception the owner of the day care whose home was right next door to the facility took the Zor when it was nap time… She does not take naps!

This has been repeated to varying degree until the Zor started school the only two successful daycare’s to whom we owe much thanks are Ruth and Mrs. Amanda.

The home front is another experience all together! As my wife says “The Zor is best experienced briefly”.

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